Deeper Lessons

I just posted the most recent episode of the Epic Mind Body Spirit Podcast. This one is just me (no guest), and it’s a short one. I share some thoughts about taking a deeper look at what we believe we need to change within ourselves. 

I think this is important because sometimes we struggle with making changes because we’re not really clear about why we should be making the change. I’m not a patient person and in this podcast I share how learning more patience is really about me being more willing to get into the flow of the present moment and how my lack of patience is also an asset for me.

Below is a rough transcript of part of my discussion. Enjoy!

So let’s talk about accepting parts of ourselves we may see (or others tell us) are our faults and about deeper lessons we can learn from doing that.

Of course there is value in change, but there’s often beauty in that part of us we think we should change and the change we need to make is sometimes not what we appears on the surface. 

Sometimes it’s less about changing ourselves and more about a deeper lesson and how we can add to or modify our natural tendencies to make life better.

So here’s an example of what I mean.

I’m not and may never ever be a patient person, but I have become more so and doing so has reduced or eliminated stress for me and enabled me to be a kinder person.

I’ve also learned that my lack of patience has served me well.

I’m willing to take action sooner than others with more patience.

My not waiting can make me a great advocate for myself and others and get me to take positive action.

Change is good. My learning to gain some patience is good but the real lesson for me has been to be sensitive to timing, and being willing to accept when it’s not the right time to act. 

The more I am in alignment with the highest good of any situation, the more I know when it’s time to act and when it’s not and that’s when learning to have a little patience is a good thing for me.

It’s about being willing to see that patience is the right play in a particular moment. 

You know, there’s no point in getting frustrated waiting in traffic, because it won’t make it move any faster. Doing a few deep breaths, and accepting the moment is going to reduce my stress.

Both of my parents lived to be old, and in their later years they walked very slowly. Walking by their side forced me to slow down when I walked with them. It was more than just slowing my walking speed, it was being less rushed in the moment so I could make them feel that there was nothing wrong with their speed, that they were doing great, and that I had time for them.

Being more patient with them was a great act of love from me. Being patient with them meant being kind.

Also being sensitive to my own struggle in dealing with something can mean giving myself time – being patient with myself. Grieving takes time and I learned to channel some of the patience I gained from them to myself as I grieved the loss of them.

So for me, this surface lesson about becoming a more patient person, is really another aspect of being aware of and acknowledging the present moment and contributing my best in the moment. 

When the moment calls for my impulsive impatient nature, I’m golden. When it calls for me to go more slowly,  gently … to be a little patient, then it’s time for me to call on my other strengths to rally and find my capacity to learn a bit more about being patient. 

In the case of my parents, I had lots of both kind of moments. There were times where I was the much needed catalyst for action and my unwillingness to wait was a positive motivator for action on their behalf. Other times, my compassion and love for them enabled me to find a way to slow down, and give them the time and energy they needed from me.

If you are struggling to change some part of yourself, dig a little deeper. Ask yourself why you feel you need to change and be open to the answer.

Learning to meditate for even a couple of minutes a day can help you to be still with your thoughts and help you to understand and accept yourself more completely.

Accepting yourself doesn’t mean there’s no value in change. Instead, it helps you to put your energy into how to shift your thinking and make changes for maximal effect.